Mindfully Meeting Other People: Role-Play

Goal

The goal of this exercise is to help you develop interpersonal mindfulness skills by role-playing a mindful meeting.

Introduction

This role-playing exercise invites you to practice meeting another person mindfully. It is a collaborative exercise between two people whereby one person plays themselves and the other adopts the role of a stranger whom is being met for the first time in person.

Step 1: Come up with a role-play scenario

Come up with a scenario to practice meeting someone mindfully. This scenario could be based on a real example, such as an actual upcoming meeting (e.g., a first date) or a previous first encounter (e.g., first day at work), or could be entirely fictional. Spend a few minutes discussing the setting (i.e., where, when, and who) so that both people can get into their appropriate roles (e.g., sitting at a table in a cafe waiting for their date to arrive).

Step 2: Note preconceived ideas about the other person

Write down any preconceived ideas or opinions you have about the other person. Consider the following:

  • What do I already know about this person?

  • What have I heard from others about this person?

  • What do I assume this person to be like?

  • Does this person remind me of anyone else I know?

Meeting someone mindfully means to let go of the idea you have about who this person is.

Step 3: Mindful breathing

To shift into the present moment, close your eyes and focus on taking five deep, slow breaths, following each breath travel in and out of the body.

Step 4: Set an intention

Set an intention to adopt a mindful attitude and allow this encounter to unfold in its own time, naturally. You might like to state this intention out loud, or silently to yourself. Something along the lines of “I will remain mindful and non-judgemental during this encounter. I will interact with this person openly and without any preconceived ideas about who they are.”

Step 5: Mindful meeting

Now it’s time to carry out the role-play. Be mindful throughout the encounter and to notice any thoughts and feelings that arise. Be curious about these thoughts and feelings, but to remain present and focused on the other person in the present moment. It is likely that some if not all of your preconceived ideas about the other person (identified in step 2) will show up at some point during the encounter. A simple way to manage these thoughts is to silently label them as just that (i.e., “thinking”) before shifting the attention back to the encounter. Allow the role-play to carry on for at least five minutes, so as to allow sufficient time to practice the mindful interaction.

Step 6: Evaluation

  • What did you notice?

  • What was easy or difficult about the exercise?

  • How was this different from how you usually interact with new people?

  • Did types of thoughts showed up during the encounter? What did you do when this happened?

  • How do you feel now?

Melinda Hoyer