Mindful Communication: Listening (Group Exercise)
Goal
The goal of this exercise is to explore the concept of mindful listening by experiencing what it is like to listen to others in a mindful way and talk when others listen mindfully.
Introduction
We very often think about the past or future when listening to another person talk. When we do that, we are actually not listening at all. Instead of being in the moment and fully absorbing both the words and content from the speaker, other activities occur in our minds such as planning what we are going to say back, or thinking about what we should have said. In this exercise, you are going to practice and experience what mindful listening means.
Step 1: Mindful Listening
Invite participants to think of one thing that is stressful in their lives and one thing they are looking forward to. In 1-2 minutes, each participant shares both insights with the group: one story at a time, with everyone else listening.
Before participants start sharing their stories, invite them to direct attention to how it feels to speak, how it feels to talk about something stressful and something positive. Participants are instructed to observe their own thoughts, feelings and body sensations both when talking and listening.
Step 2: Small Group Discussions
After completing step 1, ask participants to break into groups of three. Give the groups 5-7 minutes to discuss the following reflection questions:
How did you feel when speaking during the exercise?
How did you feel when listening during the exercise?
Did you notice any mind-wandering?
If so, what was the distraction?
What helped you to bring your attention back to the present?
Did your mind judge while listening to others?
If so, how did “judging” feel in the body?
Were there times where you felt empathy?
If so, how did this feel in the body?
How did your body feel right before speaking?
How did your body feel right after speaking?
What are you feeling right now?
What would happen if you practiced mindful listening with each person that you spoke with?
Do you think mindful listening would change the way you interact and relate with others?
How would it feel if you set the intention to pay attention with curiosity, kindness and acceptance to everything you said and everything you listened to?
step 3: large group Discussion
Finally, conduct a large group debrief about the above described experiences. Encourage participants to share their specific personal experiences and to expand on the small-group conversations. It can be helpful to have each small group choose a group leader to report to the larger group about what was discussed and what was found to be most prevalent, unique, or interesting.